Refelecting on Communication

Finally! This course has come to an end and I could not be any happier. I am not sad that it is over
if I were to say that I would be lying. I am grateful for the experience, however, it has been a very stressful one.
I have learned a lot about communication. I have learned about areas that I need to grow in regards to communication in both my professional and personal life. I am excited about practicing the new skills that I have aquired.

Thank you Donna for always having meaning full blog posts and discussion boards for me to comment on. Thank you for keeping me thinking and being open and honest about your journey.
Ms. Dowtin, thank you for adding and sometimes shifting my perspective. Thank you for helping me see things a new way and considering things from a different lens.

Conflicts in Communication

I am currently in a very difficult situation in my personal life. One that I would rather not fully disclose but this is the most conflict that I have had in my life.

Instead of communicating about it I want to just leave the situation altogether. I would rather not discuss it. I am not interested in stepping into the shes of the opposing party. I do not want to fix it.

Essentially the basis of the conflict is dishonesty.
My logic is, why to continue to communicate when the person you are communicating cannot and will not be honest with you.

All other person wants me to do is to talk to them. That is where I have decided to compromise. I will listen, and I will talk.
I am not in a space to put myself in their shoes. I do not care to be in their shows.
The level of conflict here is irreparable at this point. For me more so than it is for them.

There are no other solutions. I could come from a more compassionate place, but I do not want to instead of NVC, my perfect is to not communicate at all.

My question is, what is the best thing to do when you get to this point? When is it okay to agree to disagree and just walk away?

Communicating.

When it comes to communication, I like to think I do it very well. However, I recognize that I do not always exhibit the most effective communication skills. In one-on-one settings, I thrive. I am not a fan of big groups. I get lost in the conversation or over talked which is discouraging seeing as though I am already not a group talker. In larger groups, I just sit back and listen. I don't mind speaking to a stranger, but a small or large group of strangers I panic.
When I get frustrated in a conversation I tend to shut down and tune the speaker out. I stop listening especially if I feel attacked. I think this is important to understand about myself because it helps me to recognize that when I am frustrated I tend to be an ineffective listener. I think to be an effective communicator you must be an effective listener. When it comes to the type of listener I am, I tend to be people and time-oriented according to the profile. I think this holds true because I care deeply about people, but I also value my time and the time of others.
I asked my husband to help me with this assignment.
As I am pretty self-aware we were in agreeance about many things.
He believes that I am an emotional person and that my emotions can get the best of me occasionally. When they do it impacts my effective communication abilities.
During intense moments I shut down or my face expresses my displeasure. instead of being direct he realizes that I can be very passive. I tend to not come directly out and say what I want rather I will ask a question already expecting a specific answer. For example, instead of saying can you do the dishes I will say, do you feel like doing the dishes.
This causes conflict, as I get frustrated when I get let down by not receiving the expected answer of yes.
I am not always an effective listener either. I let my emotions lead and rather than focusing on the content of the conversation I am more focused on the feelings. This too is problematic as the words are more meaningful than the feelings during a conversation.
From this activity, I recognize some overlap and somethings that could be changed or done differently. I could stop taking things so personally.