Refelecting on Communication

Finally! This course has come to an end and I could not be any happier. I am not sad that it is over
if I were to say that I would be lying. I am grateful for the experience, however, it has been a very stressful one.
I have learned a lot about communication. I have learned about areas that I need to grow in regards to communication in both my professional and personal life. I am excited about practicing the new skills that I have aquired.

Thank you Donna for always having meaning full blog posts and discussion boards for me to comment on. Thank you for keeping me thinking and being open and honest about your journey.
Ms. Dowtin, thank you for adding and sometimes shifting my perspective. Thank you for helping me see things a new way and considering things from a different lens.

Conflicts in Communication

I am currently in a very difficult situation in my personal life. One that I would rather not fully disclose but this is the most conflict that I have had in my life.

Instead of communicating about it I want to just leave the situation altogether. I would rather not discuss it. I am not interested in stepping into the shes of the opposing party. I do not want to fix it.

Essentially the basis of the conflict is dishonesty.
My logic is, why to continue to communicate when the person you are communicating cannot and will not be honest with you.

All other person wants me to do is to talk to them. That is where I have decided to compromise. I will listen, and I will talk.
I am not in a space to put myself in their shoes. I do not care to be in their shows.
The level of conflict here is irreparable at this point. For me more so than it is for them.

There are no other solutions. I could come from a more compassionate place, but I do not want to instead of NVC, my perfect is to not communicate at all.

My question is, what is the best thing to do when you get to this point? When is it okay to agree to disagree and just walk away?

Communicating.

When it comes to communication, I like to think I do it very well. However, I recognize that I do not always exhibit the most effective communication skills. In one-on-one settings, I thrive. I am not a fan of big groups. I get lost in the conversation or over talked which is discouraging seeing as though I am already not a group talker. In larger groups, I just sit back and listen. I don't mind speaking to a stranger, but a small or large group of strangers I panic.
When I get frustrated in a conversation I tend to shut down and tune the speaker out. I stop listening especially if I feel attacked. I think this is important to understand about myself because it helps me to recognize that when I am frustrated I tend to be an ineffective listener. I think to be an effective communicator you must be an effective listener. When it comes to the type of listener I am, I tend to be people and time-oriented according to the profile. I think this holds true because I care deeply about people, but I also value my time and the time of others.
I asked my husband to help me with this assignment.
As I am pretty self-aware we were in agreeance about many things.
He believes that I am an emotional person and that my emotions can get the best of me occasionally. When they do it impacts my effective communication abilities.
During intense moments I shut down or my face expresses my displeasure. instead of being direct he realizes that I can be very passive. I tend to not come directly out and say what I want rather I will ask a question already expecting a specific answer. For example, instead of saying can you do the dishes I will say, do you feel like doing the dishes.
This causes conflict, as I get frustrated when I get let down by not receiving the expected answer of yes.
I am not always an effective listener either. I let my emotions lead and rather than focusing on the content of the conversation I am more focused on the feelings. This too is problematic as the words are more meaningful than the feelings during a conversation.
From this activity, I recognize some overlap and somethings that could be changed or done differently. I could stop taking things so personally.

communicating with different cultural groups

The question to be addressed is, do I have a difficult time communicating with people from different cultural groups.

What someone does in their private time and with their life does not concern me. I treat ALL people with kindness and the same level of consideration. Who someone is and the culture of a person does not determine how they deserve to be treated.
What I do have learned during my time in Belgium is that I have a difficult time communicating with people who speak a different language and little to no English. There is no way to have an effective conversation that way.
Its difficult because we can't understand each other in order to accomplish whatever it is to be accomplished.

Body Language and Facial Expressions

Show:
Love Thy Neighbor
S06E118
19 min segment.

This episode starts with two women appearing to be lurking at the front door of someones home. They are smiling and talking and laughing. They appear to be friends based on their interaction how close they get to each other etc. The ring the doorbell rush in the house and the situation seems tense. One woman has a bat the other has a brick they are talking to a man who is holding his hands up. The women are no longer smiling, they are pointing and looking angry. The man is looking confused.

The non-verbal expressions are that of a tense situation. Two women confronting a man about a serious issue. 
I was close:

The two older women are confronting the man who has gotten a woman that they know and love pregnant. They are under the impression that he knows that she is pregnant and is not willing to accept the responsibility. When it turns out that he had no idea she was pregnant.
Had I been watching the show with the sound the only thing that would have been different would have been that I would have known exactly what was going on.

Body language and facial expressions are things that I try to pick up on easily and quickly because they tell us a lot. They tell us more than the words we say. Just like women often say I am fine, with their arms folded and looking discontent.
What I learned, rather what was confirmed, was that body language is essential to understanding how someone feels, what they are thinking, and what they are feeling.

Competent Communication

There isn't a single person that I know that demonstrates competent communication. Everyone that I know is a work in progress. There are things that people in my inner circle do as part of their progress, but when reviewing the assignment no particular person came to mind.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

I would first like to say thank you to my colleagues for traveling this academic journey with me. Keep going, keep pushing, the end is near.

I hope to be the educator that parents and students adore alike. I want to be the reason a student or a parent feels more comfortable in exactly who they are. I hope to facilitate the cultural competence of my students as well as myself. 

Moving forward my goal is to continue to grow, to keep learning, and to take risks. I feel like the biggest lessons in life are learned through risks. I plan to put myself out there to ask questions and get to know and understand culturally my students.  

Welcoming Families From Around the World

Scenerio:

You are working in an early childhood setting of your choice—a hospital, a child care center, a social service agency. You receive word that the child of a family who has recently emigrated from a country you know nothing about will join your group soon. You want to prepare yourself to welcome the child and her family. Luckily, you are enrolled in a course about diversity and have learned that in order to support families who have immigrated you need to know more than surface facts about their country of origin.

If I were to gain a student from another country such as, Germany, I would have a leg up considering I have been there and know some about the culture. 

However, to best be prepared, I would:

1: freshen up on popular/ common phrases

2: begin to get to know the parents and their values and their expectations

3: have the family come in early to help them get familiar with the american way of education 

4: set up a time for the parents to come in and educate the class on german culture

5: implement the things that I learn regarding the german culture to most appropriately interact with the student and the family.

• These preparations help me to learn first-hand information and allows the parents to feel appreciated for who they are as well as helping them to understand the level of self-investment I have in my students as well as their families. 

The personal side of bais, prejudice, and oppression

My mother, being a more masculine lesbian, in her relationship, she has often experienced biases when in a highly professional environment with strangers. The strangers engage in conversations and she is often excluded from the conversation. They discuss their degrees, and it seemed as though she was intentionally excluded from the conversations. Eye contact was often low and so are introductions. 

I have witnessed sometimes being with her, she is treated differently when she is dressed comfortably vs. when she is dressed like a lady.

Until, when in professional environments, she mentions her employer the level of respect is low.

Knowing that my mother is treated differently simply because of the way she decides to dress is sad and pretty pathetic. It says more about the people that prejudge her than herself. 

From my mother's experience, I understand even more how important it is to not judge a book by its cover.

Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

• Describe at least one example of a microaggression which you detected this week or remember from another time. In what context did the microaggression happen? What did you think and feel when you observed the microaggression or when you found yourself as the target of a microaggression?
• In what ways did your observation experiences this week affect your perception of the effects of discrimination, prejudice, and/or stereotypes on people.

I currently work as the Army Education Counselor, people come to me to inquire about VA benefits, TA (Tuition Assistance), and the big question..... What should I do with my life?

Recently I had a student come into my office and basically express that they thought I was not old enough or qualified enough to do my job without knowing my credentials, or capability. I can only assume that I look young, he felt that I would be unable to help him.

I felt insulted and was curious on what basis he established these ideas about me. But I did not let it bother me. I have learned to let things roll off my back in regards to things people say or feel about me. 

This weeks lesson got me thinking more about things I should and should not say. I think more than anything this week has made me more sensitive to people and their culture and how I express my ignorance.  

Perspective on Diversity and Culture

Culture is......
Social behavior specific to groups of people
Behavior that contributes to differences

Diversity is......
Differences
Unique qualities specific to a group or groups of people

These definitions are broad enough that they do not omit or exclude anything specifically. However, they are not clear cut in that they are not specific. They leave room for question.
Diversity is essentially just that differences and all of the things that make people uniques. Diversity includes but is not limited to, race/ethnicity, religion, and gender, etc., again all of the things that make us different.

Culture is who we are and the things that makeup who we are. Culture is the music we listen to, the way we dress, the food we eat, and more.

Other people definitions and ideas about culture and diversity are pretty much on the same page. I feel that limiting the definitions and making the definitions more specific would take away and limit all possible meanings of the word.

My Family Culture

• A major catastrophe has almost completely devastated the infrastructure of your country. The emergency government has decided that the surviving citizens will be best served if they are evacuated to other countries willing to take refugees. You and your immediate family are among the survivors of this catastrophic event. However, you have absolutely no input into the final destination or in any other evacuation details. You are told that your host country’s culture is completely different from your own, and that you might have to stay there permanently. You are further told that, in addition to one change of clothes, you can only take 3 small items with you. You decide to take three items that you hold dear and that represent your family culture.
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• A description of the three items you would choose
• How you would explain to others what each of these items means to you
• Your feelings if, upon arrival, you were told that you could only keep one personal item and have to give up the other two items you brought with you
• Any insights you gained about yourself, your family culture, diversity, and/or cultural differences in general, as a result of this exercise.

A Bible, a family photo of my husband myself and our children, and a pair of pearl earrings are Items that I would bring along with me if I had to evacuate to another country. The Bible is the tool I use when I am in need of peace and comfort. With my Bible I don't need to have fear in my hear. My Bible reminds me that God is with me no matter where I am or what I happening around me. My family is my lifeline. The picture of my family represents love, unconditional, unwavering love with a splash of chaos. I like to look good and I cannot truly feel like myself without earrings. Earings for me, represent aesthetics and the way I value appearance.

If told I could only keep one personal item I would keep the picture of my family and write my favorite scripture on the back. Without my family I have nothing.


This exercise has helped me understand the value of family and this weeks topic has helped me form the link between family and culture.

When I Think of Research....

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Poverty is an issue that we face on a daily basis everywhere in the world. Research has explained, time and time again, that as a result of poverty school-aged children face a number of challenges. These challenges include but are not limited to poor social skills, self-esteem issues and more.
Literature tells us, “Children who are economically disadvantaged families are more likely to experience socioemotional problems, such as impaired peer relations, low self-esteem, lower levels of sociability and initiative, and classroom externalizing, and internalizing behavior problems than children who live in families with greater financial resources.” (Lichter, Shanahan, & Gardner,(p. 91).)
Conducting my research would help to keep children in the classroom rather than expelled and isolated. If, in fact, the data shows that poverty is the cause of antisocial behaviors rather than treating the behavior i.e., suspension, expulsion, detention, etc. we can treat the cause of the behavior i.e., poverty.

My perception of the field of ECE has not necessarily changed. I still have the utmost respect and adoration for the professionals who work in the field. It indeed is a taxing one.
Additionally, Thank you for keeping me going. This class has been an ultimate challenge and through this course you all, my colleagues have helped me more than you know.

Lichter, D. T., Shanahan, M. J., & Gardner, E. L. (2002). Helping others? The effects of childhood poverty and family instability on prosocial behavior. Youth & Society, 34(1),            89–119. 

Research Around the World

Current issues involving research outside of the United States, more specifically in Africa and Europe include:

Increasing parent involvement
Educators getting engaged in researching their own practice
Interaction in single- low income- mother families
Teachers concepts of learning

Just to name a few.
From the websites below the most important idea that I gathered is that the issues and concerns faced in the United States are faced all around the world. Parent involvement is always an area of concern, as well as professional development, and understanding or addressing issues of poverty.

Notable Infomation:

http://www.ecdvu.org/ssa/documents/major_projects/Habtom%20-%20MP%20Final%20-%20UVic%20LP.pdf
 Tells us "Despite clear evidence that the world’s children are tomorrow’s human capital, early years’ interventions have continued to be poorly represented in the overall systems of many countries in sub-Saharan Africa, including Eritrea. In Eritrea, due to successive wars and droughts, the overall opportunities created for early years’ interventions have remained of low quality and limited to only a small percentage of children. For example, during the period 1998-1999, only 5% of children aged 5-6 were enrolled in kindergarten centres, most of them in urban areas (Ministry of Education, 1999)"
This information was particularly interesting and mind-blowing. Considering, if your child is not enrolled in school at a certain age the police will come looking for you.
I think that in the United States education is so assessable that it is undervalued and underappreciated.

My generation could not imagine not going to school. Be it a center, home school, or something of the like in America some form of schooling is taking place.

I also find it particularly interesting how the same issues are topics of education worldwide, however, the magnitude of issues vary.

http://www.ecdvu.org/ssa/major_reports.php

https://www.eecera.org/journal/

Research That Benefits

After having my first child I experienced postpartum depression. A lot of my sadness was a result of countless sleepless nights. I could not function, I didn't feel like myself, and most importantly I was unable to be the best to my most prized gift. Many moms experience this unless they sleep train. Something that I did not do. 

Though I did not sleep train, my first child, I do plan to with my second as I have been informed by all of my mom friends that did try the Ferber method that they were much happier, their baby slept better and was much happier. And it doesn't get any better than a happy mommy, because a happy mommy brings a happy baby.

Though this method seems harsh the results outweigh a couple nights of crying. 

For those of you unaware of the Ferber method, it is basically allowing your baby to cry it out for a couple of night until they get the idea that they can sleep alone. 

I think this research is beneficial to those parents and families that can stand a few days of crying. 

Personal Research Journey

Use the Blog, this week, to tell your colleagues about your chosen topic for the simulation and why you chose it. Write about your personal experience with this simulation process. Share any insights you have gained so far from constructing the research chart, and from any other element of this course. Ask your colleagues if they have any advice or insight that might help you with this process and/or with this course. As well, share resources if you can, and ask them to share resources with you.

I have a burning passion for and an intense interest in student poverty and its impact on how things flow in the classroom. For that reason, my chosen topic is how does childhood poverty impact daily student behavior. More specifically I am interested in how many behavioral infractions do students who experience poverty encounter than their economically stable counterparts.
Constructing the research charts I have discovered my APA format citations need some work, I have discovered a set criterion to determine if I have encountered a credible resource, and that there is a structure to research that makes the tedious task on of ease.
If there is any advice you would like to give me on my research topic I welcome it. 

At this time I do not have any resources to share.