When it comes to communication, I like to think I do it very well. However, I recognize that I do not always exhibit the most effective communication skills. In one-on-one settings, I thrive. I am not a fan of big groups. I get lost in the conversation or over talked which is discouraging seeing as though I am already not a group talker. In larger groups, I just sit back and listen. I don't mind speaking to a stranger, but a small or large group of strangers I panic.
When I get frustrated in a conversation I tend to shut down and tune the speaker out. I stop listening especially if I feel attacked. I think this is important to understand about myself because it helps me to recognize that when I am frustrated I tend to be an ineffective listener. I think to be an effective communicator you must be an effective listener. When it comes to the type of listener I am, I tend to be people and time-oriented according to the profile. I think this holds true because I care deeply about people, but I also value my time and the time of others.
I asked my husband to help me with this assignment.
As I am pretty self-aware we were in agreeance about many things.
He believes that I am an emotional person and that my emotions can get the best of me occasionally. When they do it impacts my effective communication abilities.
During intense moments I shut down or my face expresses my displeasure. instead of being direct he realizes that I can be very passive. I tend to not come directly out and say what I want rather I will ask a question already expecting a specific answer. For example, instead of saying can you do the dishes I will say, do you feel like doing the dishes.
This causes conflict, as I get frustrated when I get let down by not receiving the expected answer of yes.
I am not always an effective listener either. I let my emotions lead and rather than focusing on the content of the conversation I am more focused on the feelings. This too is problematic as the words are more meaningful than the feelings during a conversation.
From this activity, I recognize some overlap and somethings that could be changed or done differently. I could stop taking things so personally.
Hello Haleema,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your transparency when discussing your communication style. I can relate to you in regards to shutting down and not listening to the speaker at times when I may feel attacked during a conversation. I started this form of communication behavior when I entered middle school. I would do this when I did not agree with my parents during discussions or when we I felts like I was being disrespected by fellow classmates. Like you I also believe that in order to be an effective communicator you must be a effective listener. I enjoyed reading your post!
Hello Haleema,
ReplyDeleteI like how you express your true self as it pertains to how you communicate with others. I have to admit that I am just the opposite when I am in a group setting. I consider myself as a social butterfly. I enjoy being in a crowd of people. I have no problems joining in on conversations. I also, like to listen to others as they speak. I agree with Stephanie that in order to be an effective communicator one should be an effective listener. That's why we have two ears and one mouth.
Hello Haleema,
ReplyDeleteI relate with you about my emotions. I have to work hard not to show my non-verbal communication. Listening and communicating works hand-in-hand. If we maintain the right balance between respect and consideration, we will build a stronger relationship for communication. I am the opposite I love talking in groups large or small.
Hi Haleema,
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way, this was a topic that I also wrote about in my assignment this week. My emotions make my vision blurry, what I mean by this is, I am very empathetic, and this doesn't help me to make good decisions. What I should be more aware of is facts, and content. Great post, thank you for sharing!
I completely understand the feeling of getting lost in a conversation, especially when others talk over you. I have two friends who seem to do this to me all the time. I, like you, will check out of the conversation because I feel like why should I bother? If they are not going to listen to me, then why should I give them my listening ears? When this happens, I try to find others who will listen to me and not talk over me.
ReplyDeleteHaleema,
ReplyDeleteI can empathize with your feelings about large groups. I am more more comfortable in one-on-one situations and small group discussions with people that I have an established connection with. At social gatherings and parties, I prefer to stick close to a friend or family member. Wherever, they go, I go. If the conversation is about a topic familiar to me, I may add my two cents. If not, I'm like you; I sit back and listen. Typically, I tend to find a quiet spot and people watch.
Wishing you well,
Donna